Commander Northstar, Galactic Do-Gooder
by BlueShift5
Summary: Commander Sandrina Northstar patrols the galaxy to keep all of us safe from the criminal element!
**I do not own any of the characters from Sandra and Woo! They belong to Oliver Knörzer!**

 **A/N: The evil Dr. Woo Pii, is on the move. Commander Sandrina Northstar has been called on to put an end to his mischief!**

 **Commander Northstar, Galactic Do-Gooder!**

 **Chapter 1: The Masked Menace**

Intrepid space do-gooder, Commander Sandrina Northstar of the Galactic Federation's Justice department, had foolishly left her squadron behind as she took off after the inscrutable, Dr. Woo Pii, a genius geneticist, and "sculptural' surgeon," into the heart of his home territory. A carefully laid trap had caught the heroine unawares, and she was quickly rendered harmless, stuck to one of his magnetic walls.

"So, Commander, we meet again, with the tables turned this time." said the mischievous Raccoonid. "You humiliated me last time when your illegal chemical spray, stripped me of my dignity, and all my fur!" Sandrina sneered.

"I see you were able to escape the prison planet of Kalabusa."

"Tut tut! A simple matter for a genius raccoonid such as myself!"

"You were lucky I didn't take your tail as a trophy, rodent!" The doctor smirked.

" _You would dare?!_ That would have been the ultimate insult to my species! But I'm glad you told me that, for now I will take something most precious to you . . . that tasteless mockery to all furries, . . . your pony-tail! Or perhaps I should say, _'phony-tail'_! Bwa ha ha ha!"

"Bastard!" Pii stroked both sides of his long whiskers, as a sinister smile turned up the corners of his mouth.

". . . Or maybe I will make you as hairless as I was! Yes, that sounds a bit more appropriate!"

"I must say, though, you did look like a scrawny chihuahua! Ha ha ha! Shave me bald! I don't care! It'll grow back!"

"Poor child, I never said anything about shaving, did I?" With that, Woo Pii produced a wax warming pot, and some depilatory paper. "A bit 'primitive', even by my standards, but _very_ effective!"

"Y-you monster!" Northstar struggled, but to no avail. The wall held her fast, and her struggles only succeeded in stretching her uniform.

"There's no use struggling, my pretty. The magneto-static trap is attracting the carbon-nano-tubes your suit is made of. I'm going to enjoy torturing you with my special foot tickling technique!"

"You are one sick squirrel! Seek professional help!"

 ** _"I am_ _not_ _a squirrel, damn you! How dare you compare me to those mindless nutcrackers!"_** He removed her calf length boots, exposing those tender pink toes of hers. "I'll start off with these little piggies first, then when you are delirious from exhaustive laughter, I'll begin the hot wax process . . . starting with that fuzz on your upper lip!"

 ** _"I do not have fuzz on my upper lip, you dork!"_** The furry doctor sighed.

"Of course you do, you're just in denial! It's the result of you always running around, trying to save the universe! Excessive light speed maneuvers in zero gravity environments, and too much machismo, have stirred up your hormones in ways even I cannot imagine! I dare say your testosterone levels must be at least equal to a male of your species, and thus your mustache grows! Puberty gone awry!" he twirled his paws in the air with a flourish, "Why, I wouldn't be surprised at all to find other, . . .'manly things', . . . growing beneath those pantaloons of yours! Bwahahaha!"

"I don't wear pantaloons, jerk! My space suit is state of the art, skin-hugging, nano-tech! How dare you even suggest it!"

"How quaint!" the evil doctor snickered, "The commander runs around . . . _'commando-style'_! No wonder you have no panty lines! Heh heh!"

"Just because you have stripes on _your_ ass doesn't mean _I_ have to show mine! Besides, what are you doing, checking out young girls' panty-lines?"

"*Ahem* Scientific research . . ." he snickered, "You will excuse me for a moment, but I seemed to have run out of wax for my wax pot! Be a good girl, and don't struggle too much. It will only make your _'camel-toe'_ more noticeable! Har har har! I'll be right back!" With that, he left the room.

Northstar, like the heroine she was, was not about to give up. Carbon nano-tube fiber was extremely strong, but also quite flexible. A tug here, and a yank there, and she managed to slip one arm out. With her hand free, she unzipped the rest of her outfit, and slipped out of her suit, au natural. Sandrina grabbed her blasters from the counter and lay in wait for her furry nemesis. He returned surprised, finding his human captive escaped, and only her spacesuit stuck to his capture wall.

"Drop the pot, fur ball, or I'll blast you!" He turned slowly.

"I see it was useless anyway, Commander, . . . you really are . . . _'hairless'!_ Mmph!" He tried to restrain a laugh, but broke wind instead.

"Shut up, pervert! Turn that wall off so I can get my clothes back!"

"Why certainly, my dear, after all, you already made my day! I only wish I had my camera with me! Hur hur hur!" he grinned.

". . . Turn around, and cover your eyes so I can get dressed!"

"Now see, where would be the fun in that!" He did as ordered, all the while eyeing the self-destruct button, and the escape hatch gangway.

Sandrina put her gun down for a second while she slipped back into her suit, and in that instant, the raccoonid threw his wax pot, knocking the blaster to the floor. A struggle for the weapon ensued, and they both rolled across the floor. Dr. Pii was putting up a bigger fight than Northstar had expected.

"You fight like a girl!" he laughed.

"I _**am**_ a girl, you stinky nordsnoggler!"

"Why, you say that like it was a bad thing! Nordsnogglers are raccoonids closest relatives!" A foot into his face knocked him off, and Dr. Pii was now staring into her blaster's barrel.

"Touché, Commander! I have underestimated your strength and cunning!" He had conveniently managed to place his fall next to the hatch leading to his escape vessel. The notorious doctor stood up slowly, dusting himself off, all the while planning his escape, and the annihilation of his long-time foe. Northstar was pulling her pants up to her waist, and the Lotorian covertly pushed the button for the self-destruction of his laboratory. He pulled down the gangway hatch lever, but Sandrina hurled his waxing pot at his legs, causing him to trip as he turned to make his getaway. The commander fired her blaster, taking his tail off just as he stepped into his emergency escape vessel.

" _Aiiiee!"_ Woo Pii screamed, "Curse you, Sandrina!" he shouted over the com-system, "You may have taken my tail, but you would be hard pressed to stop the self-destruct in time! Bwa ha ha ha ha!" He blasted off, and was quickly out of the danger zone.

There were only seconds left on the timer, but Commander Northstar calmly walked up to the controls, switching her multi-blaster to absolute zero, then freezing the explosive mechanism's electronics at minus five hundred degrees, so that they would crumble into ice shards at the slightest vibration. She tapped it with the butt of her blaster, and the whole console fell apart in cubes, totally destroyed. Sandrina picked up the doctor's severed tail, and looked it over. "At least there's no _fleas_ on it!" she said, and slapped it several times against the countertop to make sure. She placed it between her teeth, then took a selfie. "I'll send this picture back to headquarters! Dr. Woo Pii will not be showing his rotten face, . . . or his tail, around here, for a _very_ long time! Mwa ha ha ha ha!"

 **Meanwhile, in a bedroom far, far away . . .**

"Sandra, will you please wake up? You're chewing on my tail, and your evil laugh is creeping me out! . . . Sandy?"

"Mwa ha ha ha ha . . .*snore*"

 **The End (for now!)**

 **A/N: "Sculptural surgeon" meant to imply he was another Dr. Frankenstein! You know, illegally splicing body parts? Don't worry, he can splice another tail on himself!**

 **Stay tuned for more heroic adventures of Commander Northstar, Galactic Do-Gooder!**


End file.
